Invisible Me
Like most small children, I had an invisible friend when I was young. Unlike most small children, my invisible friend was not human. Instead, my friend was actually an alien. While we spent most of our time here on planet Earth, my friend and I often traveled to his (assuming aliens have gender) home planet for play dates as well. I had the most unique mode of transportation to reach his planet. Much simpler than a rocket, it was a rolling television cart and the engine was nothing more than the controls to an old Atari gaming system.
Invisible people are a big part of growing up. Hopefully as children mature into teens and as teens mature into adults, the need for such imaginary trips or imaginary conversations become less and less. I am convinced however that as we enter adulthood, we begin to deal with a whole new type of invisible person. An invisible person that we rarely discuss, that we rarely choose to acknowledge, and that we quite frankly pretend simply isn't there.
That invisible person is the "invisible me."
Before you call my psychiatrist, let me attempt to explain. The "invisible me" is the person that lives within the reality gap that we have created for ourselves. This reality gap allows us to see people at their worst yet allows us to see ourselves at our best. This reality gap makes it easy for us to show people where they go wrong, but makes it extremely difficult to see where we go wrong. This gap gives us the belief that we are doing better than we actually are because our measurements are things that we have created to help us win. It's as if a baseball team shows up to a game and convinced themselves that they start the game with an imaginary seven run lead. When they lose the game 6-0... they are surprised to see their fans disappointed... because in their minds... they have won 7-6.
I know that this is an intense concept to grasp so early in the morning. But if we don't deal with the reality gap that we have created in our lives, we will never truly know the score (reference back to the baseball game) and we will never really see ourselves for who we truly are. We will never see the "invisible me", the true person that exists... the one the rest of the world has to live with day in and day out. We will live a life blaming others, pushing people away, making excuses, and ultimately ending up in a place where we don't want to be... alone. I don't know about you, but when I am 76 years old, I do not want to pull out the television tray and Atari game system again for my relationship needs. I want to be surrounded by people who know me and most importantly who love me. For that to happen... I must seek to find the "the invisible me."
May we not look upon ourselves more highly than we ought. May we learn the definition of humility and may we ask God for it to become a natural part of who we are. May we strive to see the best in others, not the worst. May we honestly, with God's help seek to find the real us...the "invisible me" that hides beyond all of our masks. May we invite God to join us in this venture... to search into those very dark places... and do what He does best... restore. May we not make excuses, may we not blame. May the goal of arguments, disagreements, and frustrating conversations end up in restoration thoughts and not battles over who is right and who is wrong. May we stop living life as the better version of ourselves. May we stop pretending all is well, and may we deal with all the realities of who we truly are... both good and bad. May we live life full of relationships, full of friends, and full of love. May we grow.
"The heart is hopelessly dark and deceitful, a puzzle that no one can figure out. But I, God, search the heart and examine the mind. I get to the heart of the human. I get to the root of things. I treat them as they really are, not as they pretend to be."
Jeremiah 17:9-10